After 3 tough but fun years at the Royal Swedish Ballet School I graduated a few days ago. It’s a bittersweet feeling knowing I’m DONE with school. I’ve never really disliked school itself, although all the long nights writing Swedish essays after a whole day of dance (on top of regular classes) was pretty exhausting. But I’ve made SO many great memories in the past couple of years thanks to this school and the people I met. Not only has it possibly been the best years of my life, but also the most important ones that helped me grow as a person, and a dancer of course.
And saying that is a bit weird because choosing to attend the school might have also been one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make. To those who dream of becoming professional dancers the choice would be easy, without any doubts or second thoughts. In my case I reaaally had to think hard and pray about it because it meant moving away from home… which meant moving away from family. And that meant moving away from my safety net, at the age of 15. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that change because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to become a dancer but ultimately I decided to give it a go. Because to me, choosing not to go was like giving up a possibility of having a career as a dancer. Taking lessons at my former dance school wasn’t an option, so it was kinda like a now or never decision. Besides, I want to grab every opportunity I get and I truly believe and know that everything happens for a reason. Although auditioning for the school was quite spontaneous, I ended up getting accepted but I wasn’t 100% sure what I was doing (lol) and if dancing was something I wanted to pursue. (If I were to pick three words to describe myself, indecisive would definitely be one of them).
ANYWHO… I obviously decided to go for it, and here I am, an official dance graduate! Not gonna lie, I did have regrets during the first couple of months after deciding to move all the way to another country. I’ve been very close to stopping dance a couple of times. And up until now I still don’t have a clear vision of what I want to do in the future. But I kept going, and deciding to move away from home forced me to mature and become more independent. I also knew I’d have to move away from my dear parents sooner or later anyway. Besides I thought: what’s the worst thing that could happen? I always had the option to come back home. Plus, I wanted to see what it was like. I mean… you never know unless you know, you know? The homesickness I went through was horrible and everything was scary at first. Not to mention the dance classes were A LOT more demanding (I felt like the ugly duckling in class). Although Norwegian and Swedish are very similar having classes in a slightly different language was a challenge, and even a tiny bit harder to make friends because of the language barrier. Especially for an introvert like moi. It was all very intimidating. Tough? Yes! Worth it? YUHUH. I’d go through the whole process aaall over again, not even kidding. I’ve met the best people ever and have had THE most memorable experiences.
Graduating was amazing in every way possible. There were tons of emotions. Seeing faces I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever and being surrounded by people I care about was such a special feeling. It was difficult knowing it might have been the last time I got to see those awesome humans but at the same time I felt so grateful to have had the chance to experience and go through a fraction of our lives together… through laughter and hardships. Literally blood, sweat and tears (#balletislife), but mostly tears of joy. I’ve always known this, but graduating was a reminder of how I really should cherish every moment no matter where I am and what I’m doing.
Now that the thought of having left is slowly sinking in, I feel empty knowing those years are only memories now. It’s nothing I’ll ever be able to re-live… but I guess that’s the beauty of life. I’m glad to have graduated with a happy happy soul filled with many many memories. Although it breaks my heart to leave the school, the beautiful city and all the incredible people, all good things come to an end. It’s the end of a road where all of us continue in different directions and paths, and I can’t wait to see where all of us end up in life. It’s the end of a chapter, but thank God life’s a big fat book with hundreds of chapters yet to be discovered. It just means a start of something neeew *cue Troy & Gabriella duet*♪. There’s a time for everything, now on to even better things… I hope?
Cheers to three
good AMAZING years!